You’ve probably heard of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. This isn’t their story. This is the story of the Knights of the Maple Table. They were wood workers. They made the finest furniture in the kingdom. They could furnish your entire castle. Furniture, Hardware & Lances
The Knights were known for making the best lances in the kingdom. A lance is a long stick used for jousting. The KOTMT were such excellent lance makers, the owners were given nick names. The oldest brother was Lance-a-lot. The middle brother was Lance-a-little and the younger brother was Lance-a-boil.
There was a secret to the quality of their lances. (Whisper) They used magic sawdust. Would you like to see magic sawdust? I thought you might. I happen to have a chest of it. I found it on Amazon. I’m a prime member so I got free shipping all the way from the middle ages.
Look closely. (Open chest and turn for audience to see bag inside. Turn chest around and remove bag.) I keep the magic sawdust in this bag. Would you like to see how it works? I thought you might.
Before I show you, I want you to see my lance. This is the one I had when I was a child in the middle ages. (Show stick) Adult lances are much longer. An important part of the lance is the end, which I call the point of the lance. I’m the only one that calls it that. But this is my story.
The point of my childhood lance is totally safe. Who could possibly be scared of a stick with smile poo? Knights of the middle ages would use lances in special games called jousting. Two men on horseback would hold a lance to their sides and speed toward each other. They would try to knock each other off their horses. When the lances hit the knights, everyone yelled Shish Kabob!
My lance is safe but adult lances could look scary and dangerous. Take a look at this point of the lance. (Unicorn horn) Isn’t that scary? Just holding it makes me tremble. I promised to show you how the KOTMT made lances from magic sawdust. It’s time.
Each knight would choose the point of the lance he wanted. The knight was told to come back in a week and the lance would be ready. Actually, it only took seconds to make a lance from magic sawdust. But the KOTMT didn’t want anyone to know about the sawdust.
Now you get to see it happen. I’ll toss a little sawdust in the chest and use this horrifying point of the lance. All I need to do is dip the point into the dust as we say the magic jousting word. I’ll count to three and everyone say Shish Kabob! Say it really loud. The louder you Shish Kabob, the longer the lance. Are you ready? Let’s practice our Shish Kabobing skills. (Hold tip in box to connect with magnet on appearing pole and pull from chest.) Shish Kabob! We did it. Another fine lance from the KOTMT. That point looks scary. Perfect to lance a boil.