Extremely Expensive Safety Gloves
This could be one of the most valuable articles from me you will ever read! However, it’s most likely just a cute idea you will use. On a scale of valuable or useful, I think useful is best. As I was performing my first library shows for the summer, I noticed a silly little bit I added to one of the routines received a great response. When I perform for groups with younger children, I must remind myself they enjoy correcting the magician. One of my weaknesses as a performer is that I don’t play up these moments more in my shows. I get a lot of mileage out of the old line, “I have to say SKIZZERS because I can’t pronounce SCISSORS.” However, I don’t have enough of those bits written into my show.
This year I added a couple oven mitts from Dollar Tree. That line really makes you wonder where I’m going with this doesn’t it? During my Magnet Man routine, I dress the helper as Electro-Magnet, my super hero sidekick. Electro-Magnet is just as attractive and repulsive as I am, as long as he has a power source. The power source is VERY DANGEROUS so he will need safety gloves. The oven mitts are revealed as I say, “That’s why you will need these extremely expensive safety gloves!”
The first time I used the line in the show I didn’t give it much thought until the kids spoke up. “Those are oven mitts,” they screamed. That’s when the light went off in my head. Fire shot from my eye sockets as I said, “They are not oven mitts! They are extremely expensive safety gloves!” The kids and I went back and forth a few times and then I said, “These are NOT oven mitts from the Dollar Tree, they are extremely expensive safety gloves.”
As the fun continued it was time to introduce the power source, which is a mailing tube wrapped in a piece of art to look like a battery. As I said, “This is the very dangerous power source. You must hold it carefully,” the kids laughed. I followed with, “No, this is not a mailing tube from the office supply store. It’s a very dangerous power source.”
As I began to realize I had a theme going, I looked for other points in the show to joke about cheap props. A silly hat was NOT a soup bowl from Walmart. On and on the opportunities arose to make fun of my props and mention store names the parents would recognize. As I listened to the kids laugh and interact with me, I realized I was witness to the birth of a “funny bit.” Now I want more of them. This new found “bit” has reminded me to keep up the search for “stuff” that will keep em laughing.
If your show has any prop or reason for adding extremely expensive safety gloves, I highly encourage you to go for it. If you don’t need safety gloves then how about:
A shower cap, aka Waterproof Brain Shield
A colander, aka Helmet of Happiness
A stick, aka Wooden Wand of Wonder
A paper bag, aka Protective Transportation Unit
A funnel, aka Computerized Voice Reducer. (Speak into the big end.)
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