This chicken is having a ball. A cannonball! Captain Jackie is the world’s only pirate rubber chicken who lays cannonballs. She’s been eating too much gun powder on her cornbread. She’s ready to show off her cannonball creation abilities. Grab a bucket and listen for her cackle. It may look like a fried chicken bucket, but it’s actually a pirate ship crow’s nest. A single black cannonball is placed in the empty bucket to get her mind on the task at claw. You say, “Three, two, one FIRE!” The audience says, “BOOM,” and Jackie let’s out a scream . . . and a cannonball! As laughs fill the air, cannonballs fill the crow’s nest. Ten 1.5-inch sponge cannonballs are removed from the previously empty bucket. Maybe Jackie has one more in her. A really loud BOOM from the audience might do it. BOOM there it is! It’s a huge 4-inch cannonball! Time for Jackie to take a cornbread break. Comes with all black sponge cannonballs, rubber Captain Jackie Chicken and a CD of Captain Jackie logos to add to your own bucket.
Say hello to my new friend Captain Jackie Chicken. She’s pirate poultry. I first met Captain Jackie in a Walmart. I saved her from becoming a dog toy. (Squeak!) You’re welcome. There’s nothing worse than a poodle with a taste for pirate. (Squeak!) Now, she lives with me and I’m teaching her magic tricks. (Squeak!) Captain Jackie is the world’s only pirate chicken who lays cannonballs. (Squeak!)
I sprinkle gun powder on her cornbread. (Squeak!) She thinks it’s pepper. In the beginning, it ruffled a few feathers. (Squeak!) But after the first cannonball passed, it got better. (Squeak! Show prepared growing ball.)
Today Jackie has agreed to show off her cannonball creation abilities. She will lay another cannonball inside this. (Squeak!) It may look like a fried chicken bucket (Squeak!) but it’s actually the pirate ship’s crow’s nest. (Whisper to audience, Actually, it is a chicken bucket.) (Squeak!) Jackie, did you hear that? (Squeak!) Sorry.
I’ll place her first cannonball inside the empty bucket. Jackie will need your help to lay another cannonball. She needs to be scared. Nothing works better than fear to bring out the cannonball in you. (Squeak!) I don’t have any personal experience with cannonballs. (Optional tag line, I’m more of a kidney stone guy.)
I’ll say three, two, one FIRE and you say BOOM! The louder you are, the bigger the cannonball. (Squeak!) Here we go, three, two, one FIRE! (BOOM! Squeak! Remove ball 1 and place on table.) That’s a nice one. Want to try another? (Squeak!) I think Jackie agrees. (Squeak!) Three, two, one FIRE! BOOM! (Squeak!) It’s another cannonball. Jackie could probably do this all day. (Squeak!) Let’s try again. Three, two, one FIRE! BOOM! (Squeak!) It’s another cannonball. (Place ball 3 on table.)
Again. Three, two, one FIRE! BOOM! (Squeak!) Cannonball! (Place ball 4 on table.) I think that’s enough for today. Please don’t say boom anymore. (Kids will obviously say boom over and over.) (Squeak!) Oh no, it’s another cannonball. (Ball 5.) We need to stop now. BOOM! (Squeak!) You need to stop. That’s enough cannonballs. (Ball 6.) BOOM! (Squeak!) Cannonball! (Ball 7.) I’m beginning to think this might not be healthy. BOOM! (Squeak!) Cannonball! (Ball 8.) Ok, I have an idea. We need to give Jackie a break so let’s only scare her one more time. (Squeak!) I think she said, “Thank you.” But, let’s do it really loud. (Squeak!) She didn’t say “Thank you” that time. We’ll say it so loud she will lay one of the world’s largest cannonballs. (Squeak!) You can hear the excitement in her voice. (Squeak!) On the other hand, that might not be excitement.
Here we go, three, two, one FIRE! BOOM! (Squeak!) WOW, that’s a big cannonball! (Remove largest ball.) Give Captain Jackie a big round of applause. It’s time for her to take a break and have some cornbread. (Squeak!) She said she won’t be eating cornbread ever again.
Boys and girls, if you would like to learn more about pirate chickens, Jackie recommends her favorite book, “Pirate Chicken: All Hens on Deck.”
Special Thanks to Steve Petra for his help with this presentation.