Live Performance in a Library. Small appearing shovel was using instead of straws.

The videos below are from a school show. This was the first performance of Nasty Words. These videos were taken by the school and this is all I got. They cut it off before the production of the straws.

Nasty Words
Before we go any further I need to warn you. What I’m about to say may be scary to some. But it is certain that everyone will find it nasty! Prepare yourself. You’re about to listen to SONG LYRICS! (The music used with this is royalty free and comes from Backtrax.)

MUSICAL VOCABULARY ALERT
It’s time to get smarter. The word “LYRICS” is the word for the words in a song. WORD!  Now you know the word for words is lyrics.

Readers love words too. When you read the lyrics of some songs, you might say, “That’s nasty!” For example, I know an old lady who swallowed a fly. Yuck! That’s nasty! How about this one, On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball, when somebody sneezed. That’s nasty!

I searched all the nasty songs in the world and found the most-est nastiest one of all. This puts the NA in nasty. I even have a big can of nasty to show you how bad this song is. But before I do, I want your help. When I hold up something from this can, it’s going to be nasty.  Then I’ll look at you, make my yuck face, and say “That’s . . .”  When you hear me say “That’s,” you say, “Nasty!” Let’s practice. (Yuck face) “That’s.”  (Nasty!) You’ll be perfect. (All items are inside can. The magic in the presentation is from the pole control and appearing straw or straws)

Just listen to some of the words of this song.

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts. (That’s Nasty!)
Mutilated monkey meat. (That’s Nasty!)
Little dirty birdie feet. (That’s Nasty!)
French fried eyeballs rolling down a muddy street. (That’s Nasty!) Watch where you step.
And me without a spoon.

A sippy cup filled with vulture vomit and camel snot.
Dehydrated dinosaur dung. (That’s Nasty!)
Petrified pink pony poop. (That’s Nasty!)
These are the things that I love to eat.
And me without a spoon.

But I brought a straw. (Appearing straw)
And one to share. (Second appearing straw)
And for dessert . . . (Appearing candy cane) candy.
Tasty!

More lines
There are a variety of lyrics for this song from different regions of the country. As I searched for toys to represent the lyrics, I realized I could make up whatever I wanted. Therefore, finding the pink cow, (which my wife says is actually a horse) became the petrified pink pony poop.

Some you might like that I either found or made up
Pulverized duck bill. (Every show should have a duck)
Tortoise turd balls with the little flies inside. (I avoided the word “turd.”)
Deep dish boogers soaking in a bottle of fat.
Flaming ear wax bobbing in a bowl of barf.
Hairy pickled piggy feet. (I prefer dirty birdie feet.)
Desiccated dinosaur dung. (The word “desiccated” would leave most of the audience in the dark. It could be changed to “dehydrated.” Dehydrated duck dung is another great option. We love our ducks.)
French fried eyeballs floating in some kerosene. (Kerosene didn’t seem like a good option. Found this version on a scouting site.)
Scab sandwich, puss on top. (Again, with the puss.)
Parrot eyeballs dipped in glue. (Parrot eyeballs are not readily available.)
Chopped up parrot feet. (What is the preoccupation with parrot parts?)
Crushed up parakeet. (Who would ever crush a parakeet. It’s just not realistic.)
Elephant eyeballs cut in two. (Is it really necessary to cut them in two?)
And finally,
All wrapped up in pretty purple porpoise puss. (Porpoise and puss is just WRONG!)

 

 

 

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